- The Myth of Work/Life Balance
Work/life balance is a hot topic these days as our lives become increasingly dependent on the interwebs. No longer can the 5 o’clock whistle separate our work from family. We are tethered 24/7 through smartphones, ipad’s, and netbooks that allow us to work “anywhere and anytime.”
As virtual work environments increase in popularity, so do our feelings of imbalance in work/life. My argument, however, is that the concept of “work/life” balance is nothing more than a myth. The reality is that your “work” and “life” will inevitably collide regardless of how desperately you try to create separation. Staying up all night with a sick child will effect how alert you are at the 8am team meeting. The necessity of completing an unexpected project by midnight will effect your ability to make it home by dinner time. Life happens.
It’s impossible to draw an imaginary line in the sand that will compartmentalize your two worlds.
And ultimately- that’s okay. It’s NOT lack of work/life balance that makes us so unhappy, but rather feelings of loss of control. Think back to highlights from your career. I bet they were the result of a few sleepless nights, sacrificed weekends, and living off pb&j because you were too busy to cook. However, we don’t feel jaded about those moments. And why is that? Simple. You made the choice to do those things.
You were in control.
The first step towards achieving balance is to forget about chasing that imaginary line. Instead, create a system for maintaining control over YOUR life. To accomplish this, you must be grounded on your CORE needs.
Sit down with a pen and paper and write down at least three things you MUST do each day to feel content, happy, satisfied. They can be big or small, all depends on YOU. A couple suggestions to get you going include having dinner with family, daily workout, morning walk with fido, coffee break at favorite cafe, watch movie with spouse, etc.
The next step is the hardest. You MUST strive each day to incorporate these core needs into your day. The simple act of committing to your daily happiness is a HUGE STEP towards overall well being. When this happens, you stop being a victim of your “to do’s” or “the man”.
You restore a sense of balance, take back control of your happiness, strengthen your sense of purpose, and create an optimistic outlook for your future.
Stop chasing the myth and start creating the reality.
What are some of your CORE needs? What makes you feel “out of control” of your life? Please share in the comments below!
Not sure it does RT @glamajama: Does work/life balance exist? http://t.co/v7F4R5Qn
Balancing work/life….is it possible? via @glamajama http://t.co/z0RqC39g
You have to make it happen. “@glamajama: Do you believe work/life balance exists? Chime in here: http://t.co/sceC39T4 #entrepreneur”
Does work/life balance exist? Yes. But stop chasing the myth & start creating the reality! http://t.co/tNNzhAUz via@glamajama
Love the idea of knowing the core things that leave you fulfilled and therefore balanced.
My one core requirement: Having dinner with my kids almost every night, no matter how long it takes. (And helping them with homework). Everything else has to take a back seat. I can work all day, all evening, all night, but I MUST have dinner time with my little family.
Great post.
Love hearing that Helen- that’s a big one for me too!
In order to achieve work/life balance, I think it’s important to work for a company that allows flexibility and supports working parents. I feel very fortunate to work at a place that offers flexible hours. Every morning before school & work my son asks me to play with him, and I used to try and hurry him out the door. Now I spend just a few minutes with him because it brightens his day and makes me a lot happier. The way I see it, anything I have to do at work can wait a few extra minutes for me, but he won’t be asking me to play with him forever. Plus, when I get to work I am in a much better mood so it’s a win-win for all!
Absolutely! It’s all about having a support system, you’re fortunate to have such a flexible work environment.
I certainly don’t have much balance between the two! Can’t wait to read others advice so I can ATTEMPT (keyword attempt lol) to implement it into my everyday life!!
It does exist! Everyone has to have their own dance though to make it work. I set weekly and monthly goals and a daily schedule otherwise I will not be productive. Before I did that I would be busy but not really getting anything accomplished. Once you get in the habit of it you will be amazed how much you can get done stress free even with my litter of 4 : )
Exists for me but only when I stepped out of the employee space and started working for myself. That was 20 years ago. The trade-off? I would have made more money in corporate, had benefits and pension. But I have been around for every day of my son’s life, here after school and before, did the field trips, and was a constant presence. He is a wonderful teen, we have an incredibly close relationship, and I’m a very content person. So I don’t have the wealth of my friends, but I love my work and I’m pretty unstressed. They, on the other hand, are pretty unhappy and tired all the time. Not a life I’d want.
Absolutely! I dont believe balance means separation. It does however, require a flexible plan and diligence.
I used to think balance was the goal, until I heard my good friend speak at a National Fitness convention last summer. She is a great mom and a successful entrepreneur. She said, “balance is for gymnasts.” She told us to keep all of our balls in front of us,rather than balance them, and never let one go by you. That made so much more sense to me than trying to be equal in all areas of my life. Business my be rockin’ one day, but family starts to fall behind, then family is going well, and business falls behind. As long as none of them are in your rear view mirror, you are doing well!
Heather,
Hi! I’m Heather and I think it’s no mistake I came across your tweet today. I am the creator of a “movement” of sorts called Power Down. Part of that is a podcast in which we interview people on this very topic. We want to (NOT shame people) but encourage people to spend less sporadic time online and more concentrated time being present in whatever life is handing out in that moment. “Being present” is another tricky term, and something we chase and can’t really define or reach, I think. Like that elusive balance. I call life with work and three children a chaotic IMbalance and I encourage people to embrace that. To answer to the needs that are in front of us in a given moment and let go of the idea that we’re able to somehow control or perfect things. I love your idea of three core things. Would you mind if I share it during a podcast? With credit OF COURSE.
Here’s the link to our page http://www.sitsgirls.com/powerdown/
The podcast is hosted by iTunes like others, but our info and links to it can be found at SITS: Women Get Social, thanks to Fran and Tiff over there.
Great post!
Heather
love this! thank you
Sarah Moore My pleasure! Have an awesome day!
The problem is the word "balance". The state of balance is too fragile to maintain because it takes just a little on one side or the other to create in-balance. I have found that achieving "harmony" with work and life is a better goal. Don’t strive to maintain a 50/50 line when clearly the demands on both work and life change as do their priorities. You could spend too much time trying to repackage your work to 50% at a time when it is more. This is unhealthy, insanity, and could quite possibly jeopardize your position.
Like most things it is a different way to look at your situation that hopefully makes for sense and is not just pyscho-babble. Owning that my work life and my "life" life are hopelessly intertwined helps me deal with both…and consequently, this helps my family.
The problem is the word “balance”. The state of balance is too fragile to maintain because it takes just a little on one side or the other to create in-balance. I have found that achieving “harmony” with work and life is a better goal. Don’t strive to maintain a 50/50 line when clearly the demands on both work and life change as do their priorities. You could spend too much time trying to repackage your work to 50% at a time when it is more. This is unhealthy, insanity, and could quite possibly jeopardize your position.
Like most things it is a different way to look at your situation that hopefully makes for sense and is not just pyscho-babble. Owning that my work life and my “life” life are hopelessly intertwined helps me deal with both…and consequently, this helps my family.
Hi William,
I couldn’t agree more! Perfect balance is incredibly fragile and a nearly impossible goal. Love your goal of “harmony”- so much healthier!
All the Best,
Heather
Life balance begins when you live from your core values and core needs.
I believe that focusing on equal balance can lead to disappointment. Instead, we should focus on happiness. http://chatonsworld.blogspot.com/2013/03/women-are-doing-it-all-but-may-not-like-it.html